Sex just happens, right? If the attraction is strong enough, then you naturally want it. Lust washes over you like a tsunami, doesn't it? This is normal in a healthy relationship. Sex is not something you plan for, sex is something that's natural. Everyone instinctively knows what to do, that's just how our nature works, right?
Women are women and they operate the same way. Men are men and they're obviously easy to please. Men always want sex, women never do. At least they're not supposed to want it, until they're in a committed relationship of course, then it should be easy. That's just how it works, right?
No! That's not how it works at all.
A Magical Thing
As if by magic, we should all want it and know what the other wants at every moment of the day. The well-known, I want my partner to sense what I need. If I have to ask for it, it's not special anymore. These and other unspoken rules form our views around sex. And I haven't even started on the shame surrounding the topic.
And yes, sex can certainly be magical, but that doesn't mean it has to be a mystery. I notice how much difference it makes for people to start talking about sex. About the beautiful sides, but also about the doubts, pain, fears, and inhibitions that come with it. It's all part of sexuality, all part of being human. It's time to uncover the real story so we all can start to grow.
The Real Story
The, still too often, unspoken rules of sex put pressure on all of us. It's exhausting and it hinders us in actually being able to enjoy sex. Or to not have to engage in sex if you don't want to, not right now or never.
And not to mention the nonsense of even thinking in terms of gender and sex. Overlooking the broad spectrum that sex is, seen from the predetermined gender roles in our society.
The Reality of Sexual Diversity
The reality is that we're all different. What works for one person, does nothing for another. But instead of acknowledging that, we pretend there's one magical formula that works for everyone. Spoiler alert: there isn't.
As hard as this society tries to put us in boxes, to look at people and their sex lives in a binary and standardized way. This is simply not how people are, we are diverse we are unique and we are special. There is no good or bad, there is only our own preference. Our own fears and our own desires and needs.
Let's Be Honest
Let's be honest with each other, let's start the real conversation. Let's talk about what turns us on, what turns us off, and all the strange and wonderful things in between. It's time we stop pretending and start talking about what sex really means to us.
Let's do it differently together, let's be more open. So we can learn and grow.. Together we can unravel this mystery and find a path to sexual satisfaction and happiness.